Troll Livin’

By Zanié Nibblins on July 26, 2017

Having a roommate or some can truly be a blast … if you’ve chosen right. If you’re anything like me, you might’ve had no liberty to choose. Or maybe you did choose but you chose WRONG. This is what I’d like to call Troll Livin’.

Loathing the “comfort” of your home because you might loathe the person you’re stuck with? I think I’ve got some pretty solid tips for you.

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The first roommate you might be stuck with is the one who eats all your food and comes home way too late. Of course, my go-to is to confront him but who’s to say you like confrontation? I sure as hell don’t. You also might not want to be that roommate who’s so passive-aggressive that your roommate takes pics of your notes and the next thing you know they’re all over the internet.

What are you supposed to do? If you’ve spoken to them about your feelings before, it might not work for the sixth time. It might be extreme, but take your food out of the fridge and keep it in your room. Leslie is going to be pretty pissed the next time she’s hungry and you haven’t stocked any food for her to take. She’s still waking you up by coming home late? Change the locks and lock her out … Just kidding. Don’t do that. You probably couldn’t, even if you wanted to, but what you can do is download some white noise apps and use some lavender essential oils to help you catch those Z’s.

What if you seem to be that roommate who’s the only responsible one? You’re the most responsible so somehow the bills got stuck to be in your name. You made the mistake of trusting your roommates to do the right thing by paying their dues in full and on time. You took another L. That’s OK (not really) but what do you do when your roommates are playing around with your money? Good one.

Make written arrangements, contracts if you will. A promise to pay seems cool. If nothing seems to do the trick, take them to small claims court. OR let it go. I had a roommate who refused to pay me. I had one of those two options and chose the latter. That negative energy just isn’t worth my well-being and I have other things to worry about. Karma will haunt her and I’ll be somewhere sippin’ on somebody’s tea when it does.

If you’re worried or scared about living with the wrong person, there are some pretty good steps to take before you sign that lease and take that key. Your “perfect” roommate may not exist to the T but you can come pretty close by writing down what you want in one. Write down what matters most. Write down the importance of each preference. Some people NEED to live with a tidy person. Some people NEED to live with someone who can cook. Maybe you need someone to be your friend and don’t really care about the fact that they have a bad habit of not flushing the toilet when they’re drunk. I don’t know. But I do know you don’t want to be stuck with a roommate from hell.

I wish there was some magical advice but as a young adult who doesn’t have the means to leave and live alone or whatever the problem may be, this is truly one thing you have to endure for the duration of your stay. It sucks, I know. But nothing lasts forever, especially crappy circumstances. Stay strong, my friend. Trust me when I tell you that everything will be okay.

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